Deon

Deon is six years old and he lives with his mother and twelve year old sister. His father left when he was two and, except for a few encounters at family occasions, they have had no contact.

Deon was referred for play therapy by his school principal because he was angry and defiant in his grade one class, and refused to participate in school activities such as gym. He was suspended from school because he ran away and had to be brought back by the police. The teacher and principal described him as having a “conduct disorder.” After he pulled the fire alarm and ran way a second time, he was expelled and sent to another school with a “behavioural” class.

Deon began his play therapy sessions after the March break and is seen in his school twice a week. His therapist, Jennifer, describes him as small, fragile and very appealing. He loves to sing and dance, enjoys making things with play dough and generally is coordinated and artistic.

For a long time his favourite game was to pretend his therapist was his little sister and he looked after her and taught her how to do things because he is older and knows a great deal more! What Jennifer noticed immediately was that Deon was unable to ask for help when he couldn’t do something. He showed enormous determination to accomplish his goal but quickly became frustrated and then panicked and frantic.

When the therapist verbalized what she saw, particularly his distress, he dropped to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. It was more than a half hour before he was calmed as Jennifer sat on the floor beside him and articulated his experience of feeling unable to do things for himself and not feeling that anyone would help him.

During the course of play, Jennifer realized that Deon has difficulty reading, even at a primary level. She asked and was told, that he had been assessed and indeed had a reading disability, specifically a difficulty with phonetics. She understood how Deon might feel stigmatized and helpless at school and, given his sensitivity to needing help, she wondered if he felt panicked in the classroom most of the time. When she asked him he looked at her dumbfounded and said, “Somebody finally understands.”

Jennifer will work closely with Deon’s teacher to help her identify and manage Deon’s anxiety and realize that it manifests as rebelliousness and noncompliance but is in reality, a fear of being defective and being rejected. She will advocate for him to have appropriate remedial help for his reading disorder and keep emphasizing its negative impact on Deon’s behaviour as well as his learning. Sadly, most schools don’t have remedial help for children as young as Deon because most learning disabilities are not diagnosed early. It is only because of his problematic behaviours that Deon was assessed and that his learning disability was detected.

Deon’s mom is a single working mom who has been very stressed by Deon’s school difficulties and by the amount of time she has had to take off work to address them. She is relieved that he is getting help now but very upset about his placement in a behavioural class and generally wary of schools and teachers. Jennifer is trying to establish a relationship with her and to distinguish herself from the school but it will take time.

It’s not hard to imagine what Deon’s future will look like if he doesn’t learn to read and doesn’t manage his anxiety better than he does now. It is very encouraging that Deon has adopted a new favourite game lately wherein he is the little brother who relies on his big ‘sister’ Jennifer –“How do I do it? It’s too hard for me….will you help me Jennifer?