What You Need to Know About Childhood Bullying
Bullying is not new but is viewed very differently today
Since the 1980’s when a number of suicides were attributed to bullying, there has been a growing interest from researchers and the public. In 1999, two students shot and killed 12 other students and a teacher at Columbine High School in the United States, and it was learned that these students had previously been taunted and harassed repeatedly by popular school athletes. This event sparked huge concern, and since then, there has been an explosion of research focusing on the causes of bullying, and programs to thwart it. No longer is bullying considered a ‘normal’ part of growing up, or an inevitable part of school experience.
What is bullying?
There is widespread agreement that bullying involves five main features:
the victims and perpetrators are school aged children and youths
there is aggressive behaviour that harms another
the behaviour is intended to harm another
the behaviour is repeated over time
there is a power imbalance between the bully and victim such that the victim cannot easily defend himself or herself
Some experts disagree as to whether bullying can occur among siblings, whether or not a single instance of serious aggression can properly be labelled ‘bullying,’ and how many children are affected (Canadian figures suggest that 10-15% of children bully or are victimized) but, overall, there is now considerable agreement about the behaviours that constitute bullying, its effects, and the actions and environments that are required to discourage it. Bullying is not random; it does not occur among strangers. It happens in the context of relationships with peers –friends, classmates, neighbours, and teammates. Today, bullying is seen as a relationship problem and a group phenomenon, and its resolution is sought in the relationship, group, and school. Until quite recently, the focus was entirely on bully ring leaders and victims but, when it was discovered that many more children are involved in a variety of roles, and that well-adjusted, as well as poorly adjusted children bully, the focus moved from individual behaviour to group dynamics.
Types of Bullying
1. Physical and verbal bullying involve physical aggression or damage to property, and/or verbal taunts, threats, and insults. Boys are more prone to this type of bullying.
2. Indirect bullying or relational aggression involves exclusion from the group, spreading rumours about a child, and breaking confidences. Girls tend to participate more in this form of bullying. It used to be thought that indirect bullying was less serious and less consequential than direct forms but research shows that indirect bullying is equally damaging. Another form of indirect bullying is cyber bullying which involves bullying over the internet.
Bullying Participants
Bullies are quite a diverse group of children, it turns out. Some are powerful and popular, not otherwise aggressive, and have good social skills and good self-esteem. This was a big surprise to researchers who had believed that all bullies had underlying emotional and behavioural problems as a result of abuse, family instability, or a condition such as conduct disorder. It was also believed that bullying was mostly carried out by boys. When the serious effects of indirect bullying came to be understood, and the pervasiveness of this behaviour uncovered, it became clear that girls bully just as much as boys, and cause just as much distress.
Some bullies fit the stereotype in that they are unpopular, generally aggressive, disruptive, and impulsive, and lack social skills, and self-esteem. Boys who regularly engage in physical and verbal bullying are likely to be involved in aggressive and antisocial behaviour as adults, as well as have poor school outcomes, and increased risk of alcohol and drug abuse.
All bullies are motivated to increase their power and status by engaging in bullying behaviour, and there is considerable evidence that they succeed in this endeavour. All bullies view their behaviour as justified (she deserved it) and the consequences of their behaviour as minimal (it was just for fun).
Victims tend to share certain characteristics. They are generally unpopular, have difficulty making friends, are anxious, and have low self-esteem. Risk factors for victims include being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transsexual, having a disability, being overweight, or isolated. Over-protective parents are also a risk factor. It is a vicious cycle for victims because the experience of bullying makes individuals anxious and insecure so that they are more alienated, and less able to make friends and improve their self-esteem which, in turn places them at further risk of being bullied. Parents of victimized children are more inclined to protect their children rather than teach them to be assertive, and this can interfere with the children’s development of needed social skills. Victimized children have more stress related physical symptoms such as headaches and stomach aches, significant mental health problems as teens and adults, including anxiety and depression, as well as poor school outcomes. Being victimized is a risk factor for self-harm and suicide.
Some children are described as ‘provocative victims’ because they engage in behaviours which are annoying to other children, such as interrupting the group, or reacting aggressively to directions or criticism. These children are most blamed for their victimization, even by parents and teachers.
Assistants and Reinforcers are those who ‘follow the leader’ by joining in the behaviour (assistants), or by laughing and encouraging the bully (reinforcers).
Bystanders are those children who watch silently and do nothing. Some researchers assert that these children are also reinforcers because their inaction provides tacit approval to the bully. The realization that bullying happens in a group context, not in isolation, led to the realization that bullying was a complex social problem. One study found that peers are present in 85% of bullying episodes on school playgrounds (Pepler and Craig). The bystanders appear distressed after a bullying event but it’s not clear whether they experience fear or excitement, or a combination of both, during the actual bullying event.
Defenders are the children who challenge the bullies and actively intervene on the victims’ behalf. These children are confident and popular, have excellent social skills, and large reserves of empathy and assertiveness. Many anti-bullying programs attempt to increase the empathy and skills of children and youth, so as to increase the number of defenders in any given group.
Bully-Victims are children who alternately bully and are victimized. These children have a lot of social difficulties and the poorest outcomes. They have poor school adjustment, poor educational achievement, significant mental health problems, and high alcohol and drug use.
Cyber Bullying
An overwhelming percentage of families have one or more computers and mobile phones and it is not surprising that bullying is being carried out by these means. It is easy to threaten, harass, or exclude others using these technologies, and easy to believe you can conceal your identity and actions by blocking your cell phone number, assuming a peer’s identity, or posting embarrassing photos anonymously. Perhaps because of this belief, children assume different roles in cyber bullying, moving back and forth between roles as victim, bully, and bystander. Children who might not be aggressive or mean in a face to face encounter are emboldened over the internet, and children who might not be able to defend themselves in person, retaliate in cyber space. Cyber victimization is considered the worst form of victimization by many because there is a far larger audience, there is no respite (the internet is alive 24/7), and other children can minimize its harm since there are no ‘live’ witnesses to the victim’s distress. Victims of cyber bullying are even less inclined than other victims to tell their parents for fear their parents will take away the phone or internet as a means of protecting them. The loss of those privileges seems like a punishment worse than the bullying. Children who are victims of cyber bullying and traditional bullying are affected most adversely.
Addressing Bullying
Schools all over the world have developed programs to address and decrease instances of bullying with varying degrees of success. Programs involving primary school children are more successful than programs in middle school. Programs involving multiple elements and targeting multiple relationships such as between the victim and bully, bystanders and bully, bystanders and victim, teacher and children, children and their parents, teachers and parents, and teachers and principals are more successful than programs which focus on the bully and victim alone (Mishna, p. 120). The elements which seem to be effective are the following:
A supportive school environment where teachers and other school staff interact with students in a respectful and caring manner.
An inclusive environment where children and teachers refrain from stereotyping, disparaging, and excluding children who are “different.”
Specific training for teachers about bullying.
A problem solving approach rather than a blaming or punitive approach to bullying.
Parent-teacher conferences to address the bullying behaviour of a child (contacting the parents without a conference makes the problem worse).
Restorative approaches where the bully learns to accept responsibility for the harm he/she has done and makes some reparative gestures towards the victim.
Videos, and class presentations to show what bullying is, how it harms, and to build empathy for victims.
Opportunities in discussions and role plays for children to express their understanding, attitudes, and beliefs.
Social skills training emphasizing conflict resolution and action when witnessing bullying behaviour.
Mentoring of victims by high status peers.
Teaching provocative victims to better self-regulate and problem-solve.
With respect to cyber bullying, it seems important to teach students that passing on, or forwarding damaging material, especially sexual material is wrong, and may be criminal. Sexual images of underage children are child pornography and being in possession of them, is a crime.
Encouraging children to tell a teacher or parent if they have been bullied or witnessed bullying. Children are often ashamed to tell an adult about being bullied and also afraid that telling will make the situation worse. Witnesses are also afraid to tell for fear of retaliation from the bully or others. However, children are less likely to suffer further instances of bullying when they involve teachers or parents. We know that victims cannot defend themselves.
Let’s focus on the bystanders
Bullying is not likely to be eradicated any time soon, especially since its proven effective in acquiring greater social status for children and youth. The bully might not be liked, but often has power. It seems that approaches which include the bystanders, who are the majority of children, would be most effective in the long run. The approval, or at least acceptance, of the bully’s behaviour is necessary for the bullying to have purpose. We have a pretty good understanding of bullies and victims. Now, we need a better understanding of the responses and reactions of the bystanders, and how to change them.
Resources
Ron Avi Astor & Rami Benbenishty, Bullying, School Violence, and Climate in Evolving Contexts, Oxford University Press, 2019.
Faye Mishna, Bullying: A Guide to Research, Intervention, and Prevention, Oxford University Press, 2012.
Debra Pepler and Wendy Craig (ED), Understanding and Addressing Bullying: An International Perspective, Author House. 2008.
Peter K. Smith, The Psychology of School Bullying, Routledge, 2019.
Resources for Children
Alexandra Penfold and Suzanne Kaufman, All Are Welcome, Alfred A. Knopf, 2018
Pat Zietlow Miller, Be Kind, Roaring Brook Press, 2018.
About the Author
Janet Morrison, M.A., C. Psych Assoc. is a psychological associate in private practice and a senior lecturer at the Factor-Inwentash Faculty of Social Work, University of Toronto. Over the past 30 years she has assessed, treated and supervised treatment of children in long-term care, as well as, consulted for Children's Aid Society and group homes across Ontario.
Listen to our podcast episode on bullying: Episode 12 | How Bullying Affects Children